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Friday, April 30th, 2010

    Time Event
    3:01a
    "So you don't care about life and you don't want...
    "So you don't care about life and you don't want soulsWhy not?" I put my question quickly and somewhat sternly, on purpose to disconcert him

    The effort succeeded, for an instant he unconsciously relapsed into his old servile manner, bent low before me, and actually fawned upon me as he replied"I don't want any souls, indeed, indeed! I don'tI couldn't use them if I had themThey would be no manner of use to meI couldn't eat them or…"

    He suddenly stopped and the old cunning look spread over his face, like a wind sweep on the surface of the water

    "And doctor, as to life, what is it after all? When you've got all you require, and you know that you will never want, that is allI have friends, good friends, like you, Dr This was said with a leer of inexpressible cunning"I know that I shall never lack the means of life!"

    I think that through the cloudiness of his insanity he saw some antagonism in me, for he at once fell back on the last refuge of such as he, a dogged silenceAfter a short time I saw that for the present it was useless to speak to himHe was sulky, and so I came away

    Later in the day he sent for meOrdinarily I would not have come without special reason, but just at present I am so interested in him that I would gladly make an effortBesides, I am glad to have anything to help pass the timeHarker is out, following up clues, and so are Lord Godalming and QuinceyVan Helsing sits in my study poring over the record prepared by the HarkersHe seems to think that by accurate knowledge of all details he will light up on some clueHe does not wish to be disturbed in the work, without causeI would have taken him with me to see the patient, only I thought that after his last repulse he might not care to go againThere was also another reasonRenfield might not speak so freely before a third person as when he and I were alone

    I found him sitting in the middle of the floor on his stool, a pose which is generally indicative of some mental energy on his partWhen I came in, he said at once, as though the question had been waiting on his lips"What about souls?"

    It was evident then that my surmise had been correctUnconscious cerebration was doing its work, even with the lunaticI determined to have the matter out

    "What about them yourself?" I asked

    He did not reply for a moment but looked all around him, and up and down, as though he expected to find some inspiration for an answer

    "I don't want any souls!" he said in a feeble, apologetic wayThe matter seemed preying on his mind, and so I determined to use it, to "be cruel only to be kind So I said, "You like life, and you want life?"

    "Oh yes! But that is all rightYou needn't worry about that!"

    "But," I asked, "how are we to get the life without getting the soul also?"

    This seemed to puzzle him, so I followed it up, "A nice time you'll have some time when you're flying out here, with the souls of thousands of flies and spiders and birds and cats buzzing and twittering and moaning all around youYou've got their lives, you know, and you must put up with their souls!"

    Something seemed to affect his imagination, for he put his fingers to his ears and shut his eyes, screwing them up tightly just as a small boy does when his face is being soapedThere was something pathetic in it that touched meIt also gave me a lesson, for it seemed that before me was a child, only a child, though the features were worn, and the stubble on the jaws was whiteIt was evident that he was undergoing some process of mental disturbance, and knowing how his past moods had interpreted things seemingly foreign to himself, I thought I would enter into his mind as well as I could and go with him

    The first step was to restore confidence, so I asked him, speaking pretty loud so that he would hear me through his closed ears, "Would you like some sugar to get your flies around again?"

    He seemed to wake up all at once, and shook his headWith a laugh he replied, "Not much! Flies are poor things, after all!" After a pause he added, "But I don't want their souls buzzing round me, all the shop same
    11:22a
    Now, at the end of dinner, having spent the last...
    Now, at the end of dinner, having spent the last half-hour turning their market expedition of the morning and afternoon into a veritable sea-voyage of discovery, Alais excused herself briefly and went back upstairsHer departure was followed by an abrupt return of grimness to the table, an inexorable reversion to the single dominating preoccupation of their livesEven Rovigo was not immune: he leaned towards Alessan and asked a sharp, low-voiced question about the latest foray outside the city walls
    Alessan and Baerd, with Ducas and Arkin and Naddo, had been scouting the distrada, searching out likely battlefields, and so the best place for them to position themselves when the time came for their own last roll of diceDevin didn't much like thinking about thatIt had to do with magic, and magic always bothered himBesides which, there had to be a battle for anything to happen, and Alberico of Barbadior was hunkered down in his meadow on the border and showing no signs of moving at allIt was enough to drive men chanel mens watches j12 mad
    They had begun spending more time apart from each other in the days and evenings, partly for reasons of caution, but undeniably because too much proximity in this mood was good for none of themBaerd and Ducas were in one of the harbor taverns tonight, braving the blandishments of the flesh-merchants to keep in touch with the Tregean's men and Rovigo's sailors, and a number of the others who had made their way north in response to a long-awaited summons
    They also had a rumor to spread: about Rinaldo di Senzio, the Governor's exiled uncle, said to be somewhere in the city stirring up revolution against Casalia and the TyrantsDevin had briefly wondered about the wisdom of that, but Alessan had explained, even before Devin could ask: Rinaldo was greatly changed in eighteen years; few people even knew he had been blindedHe had been a much-loved man: for Casalia to have released such a word would have been dangerous back thenThey had gouged Rinaldo's eyes to neutralize him, and then kept it very quiet
    The old man, fashion d&g huddled quietly now in a corner of Solinghi's, was unlikely in the extreme to be recognized, and the only thing they could really do these days was contribute as much as they could to raising tensions in the cityIf the Governor could be made more anxious, the emissaries a little more uneasy
    Rinaldo himself said little, though it was he himself who had first suggested starting the rumorHe seemed to be coiling or gathering himself; with a war to come the demands on a Healer would be severe, and Rinaldo was not young anymoreWhen he did speak it was mostly with SandreThe two old men, enemies from rival provinces in the time before the Tyrants, now eased and distracted each other with whispered recollections from bygone years, stories of men and women who had almost all crossed to Morian long ago
    Erlein di Senzio was seldom with them the past few daysHe played his music with Devin and Alessan but tended to eat and drink alone, sometimes in Solinghi's, more often elsewhereA few of his fellow Senzians had recognized the cheap louis vuitton troubadour over the course of their time here, though Erlein seemed no more effusive with them than he was with any of their own partyDevin had seen him walking one morning with a woman who looked so much like him he was sure she was his sisterHe had thought of walking over to be introduced, but hadn't felt up to enduring Erlein's abrasivenessOne might have naively thought that as events hung fire here, poised on the edge of a climax, the wizard would lay down his own grudges finally
    He wasn't worried about Erlein's absences because Alessan wasn'tFor the man to betray them in any way was certain death for himselfErlein might be enraged and bitter and sullen, but he wasn't, by any stretch, a fool
    He had gone elsewhere to dine this evening as well, though he would have to be back in Solinghi's soon; they were due to play in a few minutes and for their music Erlein was never lateThe music was their only sanctuary of harmony these last few days, but Devin knew that only really applied to the three of themWhat some fake gucci handbags of the others scattered about the city were doing for release he couldn't imagine
    "Something's wrong!" Blind Rinaldo said abruptly beside him, tilting his head as if sniffing the airAlessan stopped sketching the distrada terrain on the tablecloth and looked up quicklySandre had already half-risen from his chair
    Alais hurried up to the tableEven before she spoke Devin felt a finger of dread touch him
    "Catriana's gone!" she said, fighting to keep her voice lowHer eyes flicked from her father to Devin, then rested on Alessan
    "What? How?" Rovigo said sharply"We would have had to see her when she came down, surely?"
    "The back stairs outside," Alessan saidHis hands, Devin, noticed, had suddenly flattened on the tabletopThe Prince stared at Alais"What else?"
    The girl's face was white"She changed her clothesI don't understand whyShe bought a black silk gown and some jewelry in the market this afternoonI was going to ask her about it but I I didn't want to presumeShe's so hard to ask questions ofAll the things she chanel white bucket handbag bough

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